Bob Rich, Ph.D., MAPS

Healing Stories: 'The Poor Little Pony'

   Shelley was a very bright 7-year-old. She lived with her grandmother, because of violence on her mother's part. Mother was an alcoholic.

   At school, with friends, in the world at large, Shelley specialised in being perfect. She was a computer whiz, did brilliantly at school, everyone thought highly of her.

   The exception was at home with Nan. There, the armour would sometimes crack. She would scream for hours on end until she lost her voice, throw and break things, slam doors, swear at her grandmother...

   Access visits to Mum were supervised by one or the other grandmother. Unfortunately, it was rare that her mother was sober, and after every visit, she felt rejected and emotionally battered all over again. She knew that Mother didn't love her, couldn't care less about her.

   I wrote this poem for her before our fifth session:

I'd like to report that the poem did the trick. Alas, it didn't. I am reproducing it here because it illustrates an advantage of the story: although Shelley's perception of her mother did not change, neither did the reframing attempt get between us. We continued as friends.
 

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